Borrowing a moment from my old self

Borrow some things from your old self.

I’m a mom of 3 and a wife to an amazing man. The life I live now is a life that I absolutely love to live. Yet, there are moments where I miss some of the old habits I used to have prior to becoming mom/wife. Like spending 3 hours at the gym because I could do that and like this….taking moments to read, to sit, and relax.

I sat outside of a coffee shop ready to work on this day, but not so ready to work. I was really wrestling inside and trying to push myself. All of a sudden the climate shifted-sort of fresh, a soft breeze, a cloudy overcast. My favorite weather. I remember that my whole posture changed. I suddenly just sort of sunk into my chair, tilted my head back, took a deep breath, put up my feet on the chair next to me…and then I felt like my old self. Without a care in the world. Owner of my time. So I thought…what would my old self do?

I took out a book I happened to be carrying with me. Annie Leibovitz at Work and I started to read. It just felt so good. To look at something else aside form a screen. To take in the breeze. To sip my coffee. To not feel any pressure of time [even if for a short time].

Sometimes, as we gain more responsibilities in life, we sort of guilt ourselves into believing that moments like these are meaningless. Most of us in my position are always thinking how to cram 10 to do’s in the time frame that I just sat to myself in complete silence and no pressure. I’m 100% guilty of this! It felt so good to not do much of anything for “gain.” It felt good to just read because I wanted to read. It felt good to feel a little like my old self when I had all the time in the world to do “meaningless” things. They’re not so meaningless guys. They’re necessary.

Have you lost a piece of yourself that you actually enjoyed? I hope you take a moment in the hustle and bustle of life to do those things again.

With all my heart and soul….Rubi Z