You probably read every book or blog to prepare you to become a mother. The nursery ready, the clothes washed and so neatly folded in the drawers. So you imagined that you had your mind wrapped around becoming a mom. Everything checked off the list and then…you become a mom and life is all of a sudden DIFFERENT.
YOU ARE DIFFERENT.
Time is no longer yours and days roll into nights into next days. Everyone is moving while you…you’re feeling a little…well…stuck [is that ok to say? Happy of course, but paused]. Feeding and nurturing your baby takes up all of your time. You’re trying to describe the intensity of how tired you are and it feels like no one gets it. It feels messy and it feels different and you’re fighting so hard to hold on to the same version of yourself you were prior to baby, because let’s face it, you swore you’d never change. You have more time to sit and scroll and think and all you’re seeing is how seamless other moms make life seem when it doesn’t feel that easy to you. It’s hard…and my friend, if it helps, I get it and you’re not alone.
I remember those days. Days where I’d cry in the shower. Days where I wondered if I’d ever feel like myself again. Days where going to Starbucks were my highlight and saving grace as I prayed in the drive through line. I wondered daily if I’d meet deadlines-and I wouldn’t always meet them and it would break my heart every time. I felt scattered but also simultaneously experiencing a ton of joy with my babies. It’s hard to explain how it could all be the hardest but most beautiful thing all in one.
It may not feel beautiful right now. It may feel messy.
My friend…IT GETS BETTER….AND BETTER….AND BETTER!
GRACE UPON GRACE UPON GRACE. What do I mean by this…grace yourself…like A LOT!
Let the tears roll.
Get used to more bad days than good.
Understand that you have to look at time differently. It won’t be certain or promised the way it used to be. It will most certainly NOT be consistent. On days where your baby is extra good-do as much work as you possibly can. When your baby isn’t at their best-don’t fight it instead embrace it. You are mom and you’re irreplaceable, and it’s a beautiful thing.
You’re not the same and may never be. The sooner your wrap your mind around this truth, the better it will be to accept that a new version of you is evolving. You’re stronger. Your life is no longer just about you and it is the most sacrificial service of your life….becoming a mother to a beautiful child.
Even on days when you don’t FEEL BEAUTIFUL, know that you are. Despite that you have to wear clothes that are more comfortable and less fashionable. Despite that you aren’t in your prime. You’re beautiful. You have a new mom glow and it’s breathtaking.
This will pass. It’s a season. You’ll learn your new life and you’ll not just learn to adapt-you’ll slowly see yourself thriving again as you learn the new rhythm of your life.
I ALSO WANT TO SAY…CONGRATS. THE SNUGGLES, TAKE THEM IN. THE BABY SMELL…OMG…THE BEST. THE FEELING AFTER YOU BATH YOUR BABY. THE SMILES. SIMPLE BUT PROFOUND. I’M SO HAPPY FOR YOU. I’M SO HAPPY FOR WHO YOU’RE BECOMING AND WHO YOU WILL BECOME. Your baby is so blessed to have such a powerful, determined, loving mom like you.
In honor of this letter to all the new MOMPRENEURS in this world…I’m featuring one of my beautiful clients who in the last few days has given birth to her new baby girl. Kiara is such a strong and beautiful woman and her and her husband Gustavo run a fitness training business called KG TRAINING. Becoming a mom was a GIFT she’d always dreamed of. She is floating on cloud nine with her baby girl right now and she and Gustavo should be-she’s precious! Congrats you two [or 3 since Milo became a fur brother!]…here is their baby announcement and their maternity portrait collection!